Before I get into the review itself, I’d like to talk a little about the postal service. Apparently they think anything sent in a padded envelope is meant for destruction, because when my DVD arrived the packaging well torn to shreds. I would suggest that EF start sending their DVDs in a bubble envelope rather than the thick multi-layered paper ones they use. I hate plastic as much as anyone else and recycle almost everything, but if this were a DVD I really wanted and I had purchased I would be irritated that it arrived this way. The rest of the plastic pieces were floating around inside the case along with the DVD itself that had become dislodged from its place during shipping.
Now for the review – I really wish that the opening credits on Reign of Tera 3 were set up in a better manner. Since I’m not familiar with what all of the 13 actresses look like, it’s going to be near impossible for me to name who is in each scene. Also, there is not mention of the male actors in the credits. This definitely is a negative since male actors do matter to me when looking for something I’d like to watch. When looking at the small print on the front of the box you can see that the male actors are Spyder Jonez, Tommy Gunn, Scott Nails, Jack Lawrence and Jerry Alec Knight. As soon as I read the male actors I had a big “Oh fuck no.” moment since I have only heard of Tommy Gunn and Scott Nails and don’t really like either one of them. Also, as soon as the opening credits roll you can see a man who I’m sure nobody on this earth would like to see naked. I would later find out that this was Spyder Jonez, the director of the film.
For the scenes I will attempt to look up the names and match with the faces of the actresses in order to tell you who is in each scene.
In the first scene we have Jack Lawrence and who I believe to be Michelle Maylene according to IAFD. From the very first scene I determined that this movie is attempting to have a plot. The acting is bad enough that I had to look up the plot to see what was going on – apparently someone is trying to overthrow Tera’s “reign” in the “Asian Love Palace. (Yes, Asian Love Palace, I kid you not.)
Jack Lawrence gets sent into Tera’s office and there is no lead up to anything, just Jack starts going at it. And not in a good way like everyone’s favorite Frenchman, but in an awkward “I totally don’t want to be here, but they’re paying me to so let’s get at it” kind of way. Yeah, not hot. This face coupled with Jack’s cock never getting fully hard makes for a bummer of a scene:
The next scene is Tera Patrick and Spyder Jonez. As I said before, Spyder Jonez is not someone you would ever want to see naked. I don’t expect porn actors to look like models by any means, but when they look like a, according to my boyfriend, constipated walrus, it’s just not something I’m going to want to see. Looking past Spyder’s appearance, the scene still lacks, well, everything. It starts out with Spyder fingering Tera’s ass and making her lick it. Honestly, I’m usually fine with anal play in films, but this is just rather gross since he keeps repeatedly spitting on her ass. You can see the spit droplets in the screen shot. You can tell neither one of them wants to be doing it.
After the ass fingering is over, the ass fucking begins. I don’t hate this, but it’s not inspiring and it doesn’t really turn me on. At least it doesn’t totally turn my stomach. Spyder then starts touching Tera’s clit. Rubbing nicely isn’t quite the right phrase, he more or less pulls back her clitoral hood and pokes at her clit. This sounds ways less than pleasant to me.
Then we get the ending. . .
If you’re still not convinced, here is the shot that gave birth to the name “constipated walrus.” I sadly wouldn’t recommend this scene to my worst enemy.
The next scene is what I call a gay-for-pay lesbian orgy with 9 of the girls. It starts out with them all throwing rose petals at each other and towards the camera. This basically sets the mood. The flower throwing seems to go on and on and I honestly think it would be boring even for a guy who just wants anything at all to help him get off. After the flowers it switches to boob licking – I don’t say sucking because they honestly seem scared of nipples. Include some nasty-looking double-ended dildos and some cheap panty-style strap-ons and you’ve got the scene. If you’re unsure of what I mean, here is an example:
The last scene is no better than the rest and doesn’t have any good highlights. Honestly, I wouldn’t wish this porn on my worst enemy. I think everyone should have the right to a well-made porn and not have to watch complete crap.
However, if something in my review made you interested in this, you can find it over at EdenFantasys by clicking the link below.
 DVD by Vivid
Cast: Lucy Thai, Nautica Thorn, Jade Hsu, Mika Tan
Dvd feature: Web site access, Chapter Selections, Interactive Menus |
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| This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. | ||
